God...
what is freaking wrong with me!

I feel like a totally different person now...
I don't know whether it is due to some genetic mutation in my body or what,
it just doesn't feel right!

people say I've changed...
one said I've become very direct, conversation wise...
one said I spell insensitive to girls...
one said I'm crude...
one said I've changed from lame to serious...

I've always thought I was the usual self...
but that doesn't seem the case...
I don't even recognise myself now!

Be yourself, be yourself...
how am I supposed to be myself when I am another self now!
DAMN!

I promise to change...
I promise to change for the better...
I promise to be more filial to my parents...
I promise to be more caring to the others...
I promise to be more determined to learn...
I promise to be more matured than before...

but everything seems a complete contrast...
I'm changing from bad to worse...
I've shouted at my parents now and then...
I've hurt my friends...
I've lazy as usual, even lazier than before...
I've become more like a spoilt kid...

My life ain't like the past...
I feel I'm casting away further and further from my loved ones...
I feel hopeless...
I feel helpless...
I feel like an ass...
I feel nothing different from a bastard kid...

damn... I'm totally screwed...